The humor presented here is offered by supporters, friends and visitors. There is never any intention to violate copyrights. If such should be the case, please let us know and, as directed, we will either provide proper credit or remove the material. Click on the mask to move to the next item. Humor One man's joke is another man's ... oy!
We wish to offend no one - so, if you find something offensive, let us know   All in the Family
Four young novice nuns were about to take their vows. Dressed in their white gowns, they came into the chapel with the Mother Superior and were about to undergo the ceremony to marry them to Jesus, making them "Brides of Christ". Just as the ceremony was about to begin, four Hasidic Jews with yarmulkes, long sideburns and long beards came in and sat in the front row. The Mother Superior said to them, "I am honored that you would want to share this experience with us, but do you mind if I ask you why you are here?" One of the Jews replied, "We're from the groom's family." "Cover your head so that reverence for G-d be upon you." [Shabbat 156b] A Dad asks his son if he would like to make ha motzi (blessing over bread) but the son has come to the table without head cover, so he asks the younger son to put his hand on the older son's head while he says the blessing. After a few seconds the younger son takes his hand away again. "What are you doing?" says Dad, "He hasn't finished the blessing!" The younger son answers, "Am I my brother's kippah?" Manny Fenkel (Hebrew Catholic) Finally Calls His Mother (Dedicated to all who have struggled with the melodrama and the guilt) Mother: Manny! Darling! How are you?
Manny: I'm fine Mama. How are you?
Mother: So-so.
Manny: Mama, I have something to tell you ...
Mother: Something to tell me? Is it good news?
Manny: It's about religion, Mama. I have been thinking a lot and reading one book after another ...
Mother: It doesn't surprise me. You always were a sensitive boy.
Manny: ... and in the end I made a decision. And Mama, I decided to become a Catholic.
Mother: So?
Manny: I said that after a lot of thinking ...
Mother: I heard you, darling. And if it makes you happy, that is all that counts.
Manny: I am a Catholic, Mama.
Mother: And if you are happy, then I am happy.
Manny: It was ten years ago.
Mother: And what else is a mother for, if not to want her child to be happy?
Manny: But Mama, listen, It was a big step! The biggest step I have ever made in my whole life!
Mother: Manny, darling, what are you worrying about? Haven't we always had a good relationship with each other? Better than any mother could want?
Manny: Yes Mama. But I think maybe I should come and see you, so we can talk about it properly.
Mother: Come! Stay! You can have the bedroom. Papa will sleep on the sofa.
Manny: But where will you sleep?
Mother: Oh don't worry about me. When I put the phone down I'll drop dead. Manny Fenkel (Hebrew Catholic) and the Talmud Fr. Albert: "I've been reading some of those posts on the AHC board, Manny, and you know,
I'd love to study the Talmud."
Manny: "Bah! There's no point, Father. Jews and Gentiles don't think in the same way."
Fr. Albert: "Oh come now, Manny, that can't be true."
Manny: " Father, believe me, it's a different way of thinking."
Fr. Albert: "Can't I persuade you? What a shame..." Manny: "Okay, okay. Listen. Two men fall down a chimney. They climb out at the bottom. One is clean and the other one is dirty. Which one goes to wash?"
Fr. Albert: "The dirty one."
Manny: "Aha! No. The dirty one looks at the clean one and thinks he must be clean so he doesn't wash. But the clean one looks at the dirty one and thinks he must be dirty so he is the one who goes to wash. See? Aha!
Fr. Albert: "I get it. Try me with another one."
Manny: "Okay. Two men fall down a chimney. They climb out at the bottom. One is clean and the other one is dirty. Which one goes to wash?"
Fr. Albert: "The clean one, because he looks at the other man and thinks he himself must be dirty."
Manny: "No. It's the dirty one! There is mirror. Ha! A mirror! You see, Talmudic thinking!" Fr. Albert: "Alright, try me with another one."
Manny: "You really want another one?"
Fr. Albert: "Try me again."
Manny: "Okay. This one is harder. Two men fall down a chimney. They climb out at the bottom. One is clean and the other one is dirty. Which one goes to wash?"
Fr. Albert: "If there is a mirror, the dirty one. If not, the clean one."
Manny: "No! No! How can two men fall down a chimney and only one get dirty??!" A Father Sends His Son A Jewish father was concerned about his son who was about a year away from his Bar Mitzvah but was sorely lacking in his knowledge of the Jewish faith. To remedy this, he sent his son to Israel to experience his heritage. A year later the young man returned home. “Father, thank you for sending me to the land of our Fathers,” the son said. “It was wonderful and enlightening, however, I must confess that while in Israel I converted to Christianity.” “Oi vey,” replied the father, “what have I done.” So in the tradition of the patriarchs, he went to his best friend and sought his advice and solace. “It is amazing that you should come to me,” stated his friend, “I too sent my son to Israel and he returned a Christian.” So in the tradition of the patriarchs they went to the Rabbi. “It is amazing that you should come to me,” stated the Rabbi, “I too sent my son to Israel and he returned a Christian. What is happening to our sons? Brothers, we must take this to the Lord,” said the Rabbi. They fell to their knees and began to wail and pour out their hearts to the Almighty. As they prayed the clouds opened and a mighty voice stated, “Amazing that you should come to Me. I, too, sent My Son to Israel.....” | 
